The Money Scripts That Hold You Back

Money is the root of all evil. It takes money to make money. I’m not good with money. Money is unimportant. It’s not nice to talk about money. There will always be enough money. Any of these sound familiar? All these beliefs are part of your money scripts. Money scripts are rooted in your childhood, usually unconscious and passed down from generation to generation. Whether you like it or not, they shape your financial behaviour and wealth. So today, let’s get some insight into how they work. There are four main money scripts and we’ll go through them one by one, because that’s how we usually go through anything. Let’s go.

MONEY AVOIDERS

I know this might sound like science fiction to some of you but there are people who believe that money is bad. Not good, not neutral but bad. If you hold very strong opinions about wealthy people - let’s say you, from the get go, believe they’re greedy and corrupt - chances are that you are a money avoider. It’s possible that you find it virtuous to live with less money, preferring extreme frugality to, let’s say, more abundant mindset.

Very often money avoiders deep down believe that they don’t deserve money. Remember, this is not something you’re aware of so, with that belief, you can easily become your worst enemy and sabotage your financial success. It’s similar to dating while subconsciously lacking a fundamental belief that you deserve love.

Another clue to your possibly being a money avoider is your trying not to think about money. I used to have a piano teacher who would simply refuse to open any letters from his bank. For him, money ignorance was bliss.

As even your choice of career could point to your money script, most probably being a frugal, financially struggling musician, fitted his money beliefs perfectly, too. If you’re in so-called helping professions, say social worker or nursing, chances are that your avoidance money script played a role in your career choices. I know, sounds crazy but you’re not as humans we’re not as rational as we allow ourselves to believe.

Soooo, let’s say some of these beliefs resonate with you and now you ask: what does it mean in practical terms? If you have negative ideas about having money, you may frequently give money away. You could also overspend or use your money to enable others financially. Budgeting might be something you find very hard to do. All this would be your unconscious effort to have as little as possible.

MONEY WORSHIPPERS

We’re moving on to the polar opposite of money avoiders - money worshippers. If you believe that you cannot possibly be happy without money and see having more money as the solution to all your problems, chances are that worshipping money is your money script.

Some of your beliefs could be: one can never have enough money. And so you find yourself pursuing money, and probably put work ahead of your family, but that pursuit doesn’t really bring you much satisfaction.

You know that your finances are not exactly great but you still give or loan money to others. And because you associate happiness with buying things, it’s very likely that you have credit card debt and low net worth.

A good way to describe a money worshipper is big hat, no cattle.

MONEY STATUS SEEKERS

Money status seekers are somewhat similar to money worshippers in their outward displays of wealth and, as as a consequence, overspending. You may be gambling or be financially dependent on others. And if all that happens while you’re in a relationship, you’re likely to hide these behaviours from your spouse.

If money status is your money script, you will very much attach your self-worth to your net worth. Maybe you grew up in a poor socioeconomic environment. Or maybe your family put a lot of meaning on people with more money, instilling in you this belief that wealth equals a higher social standing.

Another thing you may believe is that if you’re good, you live a morally correct life, the universe of some higher power will take care of your financial needs. Basically you trust that you will be rewarded for your good behaviour.

THE MONEY VIGILANT

And finally - the money vigilant. If this is your money script, you are concerned and look after your financial health. Which means you don’t expect lottery winnings or wait for inheritance. Instead, you work for your money, you save and believe that having enough of it is important to you.

Credit is not something you will embrace, unless there’s a good reason for it. You live within your means and more often than not - value a bargain.

Because sometimes you worry about your financial future, you feel motivated to save. Your financial status is not something you discuss with other people. You know, you’re a kind if secret squirrel when it comes to that. At the same time you don’t hide your financial situation from your partner.

If all this sounds perfect, there is a catch. You can be smart with your spending and this can lead to good financial decisions but it can also lead to feeling anxious about money. A typical example here would be somebody who is aiming for financial freedom but keeps moving the goal post as they simply can’t seem to switch from saving and investing to spending and enjoying their money. So it’s a fine line between the need for safety in the money vigilant and the feeling of worry. And you will need to make sure the scales don’t tip to the latter.

Alright then, these are the for main money scripts - which one are you? And what made you realise that? Let me know in the comments. Keep in mind that your money scripts can come in packs - so you can have more than one. It’s only human to hold contradictory beliefs. The main thing is to know yourself better as that’s the essential starting point for making change. Once you understand why you make the choices you do, your unconscious money scripts, you can start improving your financial health.